Mountain Top Meditators Gifts

"Oh great!...He;s a fitness guru!!"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

David Attenborough's Morning

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

"When was your last meta-physical?"

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

'Hey, hey -- You've got to stay focussed.'

'When I need to think better, I just step outside.'

"The meaning of life is cats."

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'I'll be in Florida for the winter, but I've sublet my cave to a pair of nice Mormon missionaries.'

Man is pulled in all directions.

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

"I'm just checkin' my email, OK! I AM NOT googling it..."

'I hired a decorator.'

"Do you have anything that will help me get rid of an irritating mantra?"

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

Bob begins every day with Tie Chi

A middle aged cow.

'Nice to see you relax and not think about business for a change.'

"I'm not sure if this is getting through and I don't know what time you finish for the day...."

'That's old Goopta - he decided to quit at the top of his game.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'