Mountain Meditators Gifts

"The meaning of life is cats."

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

David Attenborough's Morning

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"When was your last meta-physical?"

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

'Hey, hey -- You've got to stay focussed.'

'When I need to think better, I just step outside.'

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'I'll be in Florida for the winter, but I've sublet my cave to a pair of nice Mormon missionaries.'

"I'm just checkin' my email, OK! I AM NOT googling it..."

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

"Do you have anything that will help me get rid of an irritating mantra?"

"Oh great!...He;s a fitness guru!!"

'I hired a decorator.'

Man is pulled in all directions.

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

Bob begins every day with Tie Chi

A middle aged cow.

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- Barack Obama offered me a job writing platitudes!'

Fatalism and the Seeds of Doubt

"Thirty-seven years up here and my ears STILL pop!"

WHILE YOU WERE OUT OF BODY...