Outdoor Meditator Gifts

'If you were a human being, what kind of human being would you be?'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"I think he just ashed on me."

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

'Why is it that as soon as the sun comes out the flies come out too.'

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

"I decided to get comfortable...we have a lot to talk about."

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

'They're clouds, Bob. You can't channel surf.'

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

'Hey, hey -- You've got to stay focussed.'

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

"The meaning of life is cats."

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

Townsfolk enjoying some personal time off at their local mountain spring.

'Now this how you handle the end of summer...'

Man says 'I worry that I'm having a midlife crisis' as psychiatrist reads motorbike magazine, makes 'broom broom' noises.

'Nothing like a cup o' Joe before you mow.'

Wisdom for dummies

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

'I hired a decorator.'

"Oh great!...He;s a fitness guru!!"