Urban Meditator Gifts

"I didn't have time for gong bathing this morning so have to make do with a quick splash of finger cymbals."

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

Wisdom for dummies

A middle aged cow.

'Our Community Mental Health Foundation has given us a grant NOT to broadcast the stock market news.'

I didn't ask you to undress so I could examine you. I asked you to undress because it's essential to the doctor-patient relationship that I be fully clothed and you be sitting there in your underwear."

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings?'

"You can't sleep? Have you tried meditating, then reading for an hour, then going to the couch...."

Audrey M. Fishberg - Certified Financial Grief Counselor.

Now there's way over a billion of us. What does confucius say about that?

I Wish For More Nights Like This...

'Bulls and bears are my ying and yang.'

Musician's Note To Self.

Horny Monk

"You want to become enlightened?"

'Please RSVP.'

'The gray sedan on the left. Its car alarm ruined my nap!'

'If you were a human being, what kind of human being would you be?'

(Please help! Bad back)