Marijuana Gifts

"Your condition is serious, Mr. Reynolds, but fortunately I recently scored some excellent weed that should alleviate your symptoms."

'Medical marijuana, sure -- but just try to get a prescription for BEER!'

"Don't think of me as a weed dealer—think of me as Little Pharma."

'The highest court in the land.'

'Isn't this where the sheriff burned that illegal marijuana patch?'

'Got any grass?'

"Wherever you look, there's medical marijuana, but not a word about veterinary marijuana."

'Hi man, I'd like to open a joint account...'

'Awesome, dude! There they are! A little of that blood in our systems and we'll be high for a week!'

"The only reason I consider today's universities 'higher education' is the legalization of marijuana."

Hash Oil

Medical Marijuana: Take a toke before watching the news.

"I bet you want to legalize GAY marijuana too!"

"Sorry, I can't accept your blue cross-blue shield card for the marijuana."

Sign reads This is a no-smoking building (except for medicinal marijuana).

'Are you kidding, I used to get high with Smokey all the time.'

The System Doesn't Forgive You. Why Would You Forgive It?

Cheaper Than Riot Cops

Unmotivated

'Medical marijuana, sure -- but just try to get a prescription for BEER!'

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

"Whenever they low, I get high."

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

Bribes for Jabs

'I sent out for everything.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Counting ribs

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

Any time is cake o'clock

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.