Marijuana Legalization Gifts

Hemp Bombs

"As soon as our state legalizes fireworks, gay marriage, and marijuana - I'm going to start throwing awesome parties you're not invited to."

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

Bribes for Jabs

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Hey Scout, isn't ice fishing great?"

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

Cannabis: Anti-seizure Medication

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

"Made with a little extra TLC – and THC for good measure."

'The highest court in the land.'

"Shoulda brought the weed."

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

'Stocks are down. Bonds are down. Terrorism and natural disasters are up. Ask your doctor if medical marijuana is right for you...'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

Trump Foreign Policy

"All agreed? We buy low and sell high."

"Medical marijuana hotline...press hash to continue."

Raging Bull on Ice

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

"You come highly recommended. I like that."

'Join us. There' a talk on medical marijuana and a pot-luck dinner afterward.'

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

"I can't wait until we're older so we can get into the cannabis industry. At least then we can make a difference in people's lives."

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

"Could you give me enough medicinal cannabis so that I forget about Brexit?"

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

"Say, Bill, how's that new crop of yours doing?"

Stoner Dog