Manuscript Wrangler Gifts

Getting rejection notices is worse when you're self-publishing.

Storm in the out tray

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

Organization is not rocket science!

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

'So, come back in fifteen minutes?...Twenty?'

InIn by-products.

IRS Audits. That's your fourth "honest" mistake in a row!

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Ah, the Bermuda Rectangle for files.'

"We need a better piling system."

'No good deed goes unpunished around here.'

Sue's job involved a certain amount of paperwork.

In/Out.

"See, that's the problem with you new breed. You take rejection too personally."

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

Overwhelmed by Paperwork

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

'Excellent sir! Your signature is now completely illegible.'

"You call this a brief. It's thirty pages long."

'Ms. Grimmett, I sort of liked the old filing system...in the file cabinets.'

'Your manuscript was delicious.'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

'Good news, Perkins! We're finally getting an automatic postage machine!'

I'm not sure if I'm holding down a job or the other way around.

"It appears that Jim is organizing his desk again."

Bureaucratic castle

Research continues to discover if the inability to balance a checkbook is genetic.

"I have a system."