Mantlepiece Madness Gifts

A mounted fish eats a man's arm

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

Raphael

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Trash-talkin' artists

The Gong

Masterpiece?

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"Richard P. Ruggles—a man and his mantelpiece."

"When Van Gogh had insomnia he created masterpieces."

"Yes, I'm the Cowardly Lion, and I want a double shot of single malt courage for the Yellow Brick Road."

"But is it art?"

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

"For God's sake, Michelangelo, it's just a cookie!"

Christo's greatest challenge.

"Hoping to find a Picasso at a garage sale isn't a solid retirement plan."

"No, wait. I always get this mixed up. The manet was five point nine. The Monet was three flat."

A bomber dropping paintings "Art Bombing"

"I wish I could do hands..."

'This is the museum's vault of 'Mislaid Masterpieces' which we 'come across quite by chance' from time to time.'

The Creative Process

A Vampire asleep in his 'Coffin Sweet Coffin'.

Male Voice Choir: Tenor, Baritone and Bass

'You can tell it's good by the way the tonsils follow you around the room.'

"Funny, I never did it for the money. I just always wanted to make T-flanges."

Art Auction. A previous expert said it's real, but the appraiser here siad my impressionist painting is a fake. Your Monet is no good here.

'I take it you're new to painting miniatures?'

Museum. Shhh!

'Michelanglo is a weird kid.'

'How much longer.'

"This would look great on out wall. . . when it's finished!"