Mansion Enthusiast Gifts

'We felt obliged to downsize to this place, when we realised we had 125 empty bedrooms.'

The Day Dreamer.

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I didn't spark joy."

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

Emigrating to France.

Home Sweet Second Home.

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Real Estate Personals