Manicure Maven Gifts

The adoration of the gels.

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

Nail envy

"Hello Moira, long time no see."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Muscles

Instructional guide to scribbling

"Ninja bread men"

'Have you no common scents?!'

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

"This is off our first TikTok."

'The highest court in the land.'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

"Your mascara is running."

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

'If you don't stop biting your nails, you're going to ruin your teeth.'

Nick Cave

"I told you to stop biting your nails."

Facial hair continental drift.

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

Leonard Cohen

The Manicure.

Body Building Mishap

Level up your game with a MANicure.

'This is DESTROYING my manicure, Steve!'

A squirrel uses a triangle to announce to other squirrels that a bird feeder has just been re-filled.