Mama's Humor Pillows

Jewish Mama Electrical: "Let me sit in your dark."

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

'Breastfeeding twins doesn't sound that hard to me...'

'Do you have to bring your mother on every flight?'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

"Now pay attention when mother is speaking, Hubert!"

'Oooh, I love what you've done with your hair...That top looks lovely on you and have you lost weight?'

"It's true she's back to the same weight she was on her wedding day, but remember that she was 9 months pregnant with triplets then..."

"Come on Mum, I'm fully grown-up, surely you can let my friend come between you and me safely..."

'We need a man with daring and drive. Do you think your son is this man?'

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

Two breasts: No waiting

"Don't you dare ask me again...ARE WE THERE YET??"

'The noise is terrible and the view is horrible. So much for good working conditions.'

"You could say that. I had a D-section."

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'

'It looks like your son hasn't changed his underwear in a year,'

'Grandma, show me the chicken's nuggets!'

"Sorry, I'm late but my mother couldn't make up her mind what I should wear here."

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

"Got any cravings?"

"Your mummy left a message to remind you to take your nap after lunch."

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

I thought I'd help your IBS by introducing you to more bacteria.

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

'This is a pretty stiff penalty for motherhood.'

Smart Suburban Maternity Hospital - "My Evian waters have broken."

'Oh, he's not mine. He's just renting.'