Mama's Humor Gifts

Jewish Mama Electrical: "Let me sit in your dark."

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

Womb service: A special room service for pregnant Women

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

'Breastfeeding twins doesn't sound that hard to me...'

'Do you have to bring your mother on every flight?'

'We need a man with daring and drive. Do you think your son is this man?'

'Oooh, I love what you've done with your hair...That top looks lovely on you and have you lost weight?'

"It's true she's back to the same weight she was on her wedding day, but remember that she was 9 months pregnant with triplets then..."

"Now pay attention when mother is speaking, Hubert!"

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

"Come on Mum, I'm fully grown-up, surely you can let my friend come between you and me safely..."

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

Two breasts: No waiting

The baby's really been moving round today.

"You could say that. I had a D-section."

"Don't you dare ask me again...ARE WE THERE YET??"

'The noise is terrible and the view is horrible. So much for good working conditions.'

'It looks like your son hasn't changed his underwear in a year,'

'I've had so many caesareans, I've got a zip.'

'Grandma, show me the chicken's nuggets!'

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

"Got any cravings?"

I have this overwhelming urge to have kids

Everything looks so good

"Your mummy left a message to remind you to take your nap after lunch."

"Sorry, I'm late but my mother couldn't make up her mind what I should wear here."

I thought I'd help your IBS by introducing you to more bacteria.

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

'This is a pretty stiff penalty for motherhood.'

Smart Suburban Maternity Hospital - "My Evian waters have broken."