Male Grooming Guru Pillows

A hairless man

A man with long beard is looking at Beard Monthly magazine which has a long centerfold featuring a long beard.

'I didn't like my moustache at first. Then it grew on me.'

'I wonder if we can retrain your beard.'

'I have a proceeding hairline. It runs in my family. . .'

'Stan's not bald - He's dyslexic and keeps shaving the wrong end of his head.'

The crew of the pirate ship 'The Bearded Lady' celebrate their greatest booty haul ever.

"Beats me if he's complying with our necktie rule - I don't even know if he's wearing pants."

Hipster Ventriloquist Convention

Shaving off a beard

"Some gum."

"And it was here that we reached peak beard."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Lesser known greek gods,

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Bathing the dog

Rapunzel in the Morning

"Be creative...!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Dating is so expensive...

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Emergency Hipster Beard

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"Nice haircut."

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

Movember