Male Grooming Expert Pillows

'You're right, it probably gives too close a slave.'

Al has a bad hair day.

"I noticed a few browns."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Lesser known greek gods,

Bathing the dog

"Be creative...!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

Emergency Hipster Beard

Dating is so expensive...

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

The Cat Spa

Movember

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"Nice haircut."

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"Wow, what a DILF."

Hair Traffic control.

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

"So, how do you want it?"