Male Grooming Aficionado Pillows

'Well, maybe the world isn't quite ready for our ultra-deluxe smooth glide 36 blade razor.'

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

"Absolutely not!"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"So, how do you want it?"

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

The Organic

"I noticed a few browns."

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

Two men in barber shop

Beard fails

New Fads For The Handlebar Mustache

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

My Life in Beards.

How to Pick up a Safety Razor Blade

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

Clock Tower Shadow

"Waiter, there's a man bun in my soup."

After deliberating on the topic for weeks, I've decided to grow out my toenails. Why? My mane of hair is lustrous and thick. My musk is overpowering. My muscles, toned. Primal. Sinewy. My chest hair is coifed and glistening. But I can't rest on my laurels. The only way to maximize my animal magnetism at this point is to grow talons. I'm a victim of my success. And here I was worried about world peace.

Time to trim the eyebrows!

'YOU try shaving without a reflection sometime!'

"Actually, Occam, the simplest explanation is that you need an electric razor."

A man with a look alike lion's mane hair style.

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

"Come on, let me cut your fringe! You look ridiculous!"

Moses as a teenager

The wool club for mammoths.

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"