Male Grooming Pillows

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

"Normally, I encourage beards, but only Millennials."

'He's a goatee herder.'

"My biometrics authentication just told me I needed a shave."

Always knock. The secrets of male grooming are best kept that way.

Larry grew a unibrowser.

'He's very thorough about nose hair.'

Distinguished Goat

"Dad, it isn't called a 'five o'clock shadow' anymore...it's call SEXY!"

Clock Tower Shadow

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"Waiter, there's a man bun in my soup."

Two men in barber shop

"Have you been using that Green Shampoo again, Henry?"

"I seek not the truth. I seek beard grooming tips."

"It was so confusing, the smell was right, but I could not recognize my master, then it hit me: he had shaved his beard!"

Angel with angel wings for moustache meets a regular angel.

"Your eyebrows have gone viral. Get some tweezers."

Shaving Accidents

Men! Pep up that fat, dull head with a swellegant, elegant toupee and tash.

"Do you think I should dye the mustache?

"I used to hate the idea of facial hair - but then it grew on me..."

"You look so different without your beard!"

"I should warn you that I've stopped thinking of my moustache as ironic."

"Darlin', looks like you've reached the stage in life where you should pluck the black ones and leave the white."

"Harold-are you in here?"

"Wait, are you wearing my Hermes 24 Faubourg."

"Sorry mate, you're not coming in without any proof of beard."

"And it was here that we reached peak beard."

"Well. . . . we're still a few years away from self-driving razors."

"Do you have anything that reeks of power?"

"It's shampoo and conditioner!"

"It's a combination alarm clock-razor. The salesman said it's a real time shaver!"

"You can call me dude or keep the ponytail... pick one."

"My barber sneezed."