Makeup Aficionado Pillows

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

'I spend an hour applying make-up so he can say, 'See, Honey you don't need make-up!''

"A word to the wise- never put on mascara when you're drunk."

An Eyeliner.

"That's no rain dance - he's angry because the Avon Lady's late!"

"That's a glue stick in my purse Dear, not lip balm."

Bad hair day!

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Shampoo.

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

What price beauty?

"I don't like your application."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"Where are my eyelashes?"

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."