Makeup Enthusiast Pillows

'I need a good concealer. I've got a lot of emotional leakage.'

'Real men have died out,,,there are only softies left,'

'I wouldn't be caught dead in this shade!'

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

'Now I look like Mummy!'

'We're too late for the Xmas Eve shindig but if you hurry we can just about make the New Year Eve one!'

'He won't be long, he's just putting his face on.'

After an argument they always kissed and made up.

Batman applying make-up

"I hardly recognized you without makeup."

'Now I look like Mummy!'

'Easy with the make-up, dear- we don't want you looking like a wino, do we!!'

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

Cosmetic Experiments

'Your dad bought you makeup for your birthday....try to act pleasantly surprised.'

'Darling you are as pretty as ever you were - it just takes you longer to achieve it...'

'Hey lady, your mascara's running.'

Woman and man dressed as woman.

'Cor blimey Shaz! Ain't you ever 'eard of minimalipstick?'

School Report

'Mom puts lipstick on so Dad knows where to kiss.'

'So which do you think - 'Passionate Pink' or 'Sultry Sienna'?'

"I maybe a little overweight, I'm wearing make up today."

"My girlfriend wants to make up. What would you recommend?"

"If you really want to drive him wild, I'd go with the red lipstick."

Woman applying makeup

"It's my hope to make the fact that I never appear in public without clown makeup the least interesting thing about me."

"I don't care what they say about lipstick on pigs... That shade looks great on you!"

Make up on daddy

'I'm intrigued - Why wear your kiss-proof lipstick to go to your pottery class?'

"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised."

"Nice try, but I'm afraid running-mascara doesn't count as exercise."

"How do you like the new lipstick?"

"On the plus side, I use half as much mascara as most women."