Major League Lover Pillows

'I can't decide.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

The Other Cooperstown

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

Currently Boston

Sheltering in place.

Vendor selling testosterone.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'Dad says I can't come out tonight. It's some sort of infield fly rule.'

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

Baseball Dreams

'Is that the look of love or the look of hearing a home run on your bluetooth?'

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

Waiting for the end of the acid-rain delay at the ballpark in the year 2258...

"Yin and Yankee fan"