Major League Devotee Pillows

'I warned them. I said, if you allow one fan to scatter the ashes of loved ones, it's just going to open the floodgates.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Sheltering in place.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Vendor selling testosterone.

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Baseball.

"Easy on the fast balls, will you, kid?"

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'Is that the look of love or the look of hearing a home run on your bluetooth?'

'Dad says I can't come out tonight. It's some sort of infield fly rule.'

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

Balk? Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk!

'Give us another minute, blue. The surgeon just reattached the tendon and he's closing up.'

'No glove. No hat. No shoes. ... I'm sorry, Andy, but I'm bringing in a new pitcher. You just don't have your stuff today.'

Sign Him.

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

"Yin and Yankee fan"

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'