Magical Pet Parent Gifts

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Why do they do that?"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Quick, start the car!"

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"It get it – you're hungry."

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Cat Nip.

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"He was a very good boy."

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

Raw food, after you leave for work.

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.