Magic Dinner Fanatic T-Shirts

Hand coming out of chandelier pulls cover off waiter's food.

Domestic Goddess.

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Party time.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

'I really love this stuff, but I still have a lot of trouble with sushi.'

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

Houdini.

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'After you with the camouflage.'

"Your lasagna was dismal, as was the coffee, but you, Sofi, are fabulous at Pictionary!"

'Carb or non-carb section?'

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

'Howard's short stay in the hospital was good for both of us. He finally appreciates my cooking.'

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

"Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen, I end up eating it. . ."

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

'I didn't know about his expansionist tendencies when I married him.'

Milly's Home-Style Restaurant

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that.'

"I gave your ‘compliments to the chef,’ and he’d like you to elaborate."

Mum feeds teens with shovel

Champagne speaking to lobster about going to the Derby