Dinner Party Magician T-Shirts

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

Annoying Dinner Guests Dining Soc.

'I sent out for everything.'

Come dine with me!

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

Dinner at the Trapdoors

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"A little lamb please."

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"My bouche was not amused."

"What do you mean, where's your order? Can't you see we're just starting to really cook?"

"Appetizer is almost done."

"One medium rare and one with honey."

"The origin of the first joke... Waiter, there's a fly in my primordial soup."

'Well, you did say 'well done', Sir!'

"Be careful — these plates are hot."

"Stop right there. Some things we know without being told...like the benefits of scraping your tongue."

'Side dishes? No, we find our carrion entrees are satisfying enough.'

'I began to worry when I saw the dressed crab moving sideways off the plate!'