Dinner Party Magician Gifts

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

Annoying Dinner Guests Dining Soc.

'I sent out for everything.'

Come dine with me!

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Dinner at the Trapdoors

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"A little lamb please."

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"My bouche was not amused."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

"Appetizer is almost done."

"One medium rare and one with honey."

"The origin of the first joke... Waiter, there's a fly in my primordial soup."

'I began to worry when I saw the dressed crab moving sideways off the plate!'

'Side dishes? No, we find our carrion entrees are satisfying enough.'

"Be careful — these plates are hot."

"Stop right there. Some things we know without being told...like the benefits of scraping your tongue."

'Well, you did say 'well done', Sir!'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'