Dinner Party Comedian Gifts

"I have more underneath."

'I didn't know Republicans had such good taste!'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

'We had that last night.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Gesundheit!"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"A little lamb please."

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"Appetizer is almost done."

"One medium rare and one with honey."

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

"The origin of the first joke... Waiter, there's a fly in my primordial soup."

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

'Side dishes? No, we find our carrion entrees are satisfying enough.'

"Stop right there. Some things we know without being told...like the benefits of scraping your tongue."

'Well, you did say 'well done', Sir!'