Dinner Magician T-Shirts

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'I sent out for everything.'

Come dine with me!

Domestic Goddess.

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

Benihana style of cooking.

The Witches Discover The Wok

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Party time.

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

Surprise in the salad bowl

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Hot pot

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

The legend of Chef Arthur.

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

"Fridge-to-table"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."