Family Meal Magician T-Shirts

Mum feeds teens with shovel

"It's blank!!"

'I sent out for everything.'

Come dine with me!

Domestic Goddess.

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Benihana style of cooking.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Party time.

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Surprise in the salad bowl

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Hot pot

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"Fridge-to-table"

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

The legend of Chef Arthur.

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

Chef's Surprise: "I'm telling everyone that tonight's special is Osso Bucco."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"