Dinner Table Magician T-Shirts

"Stop playing with your food and eat your dinner!"

Come dine with me!

Domestic Goddess.

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Benihana style of cooking.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Party time.

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

Surprise in the salad bowl

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

Hot pot

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"Fridge-to-table"

The legend of Chef Arthur.

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

Bake-a-thon.