Luxury Cruise Lover Gifts

'...Noah really knows how to build an Ark.'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"First class, or with children?"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

New Shoes.

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'See you in two weeks!'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'