Lunar Jokester Gifts

Mooning Moon

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Not now, Oliver."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Cosmonaughty

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

"You don't look much like a werewolf."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"Don't bother going that way: They've installed shark nets..."

'Whadoya mean, WHOOPS?! That stuff doesn't grow on trees you know!'

"A catfish ate my homework."

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

Seances of the future

'He's a pretty good pet, except for the 'walkies' part.'

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

The First Man to Ride the Moon