Lunar Jokester Pillows

Mooning Moon

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"Not now, Oliver."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Cosmonaughty

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

"Don't bother going that way: They've installed shark nets..."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

"You don't look much like a werewolf."

'Whadoya mean, WHOOPS?! That stuff doesn't grow on trees you know!'

Seances of the future

You observed me speeding? Are you familiar with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?

"A catfish ate my homework."

Moon's Portaloo.

'He's a pretty good pet, except for the 'walkies' part.'

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

Black Hole Corks