Loyalty Schemer Pillows

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

'You cal it loyalty, we call it Stockholm Syndrome!'

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

"How does it feel to be a fink, Sparky?"

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

'Fetching your slippers when you were chairman of the board was one thing, but now that you're an ordinary citizen...'

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

The whole club stands behind the coach...

Valentine Comix

A hunter has a dream that his dog has brought a game warden to punish him.

Boy standing on 'The Joy of Sex' book.

Punch Card: 'The next divorce is on me.'

Agent with security case proposes to girlfriend with ring that has a tiny security case chained to it.

'It's not exactly 'cheap' healthcare, but for each test we run, you accumulate frequent-test reward points.'

STRIP *The Fan * Thinking of ditching Coventry City

Robert Macaire as a Matrimonial Agent

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

"I was thinking more of a leap-year wedding."

Fake it with Flowers.

"The person who gets this job must demonstrate a sincere willingness to go down with the ship."

"This is Mr. Simmons, who we enticed away from our chief competitor. Of course, being a proven traitor, he can never be trusted."

'Is it wrong to accept a loyalty card from more than one supermarket, Father?'

"Before I say yes, my dad, who is a notary, wants to ask you about your plans for our future."