Loyalty Analyzer Pillows

'Don't send me back - please! They hate defectors. I'll be benched for life!!'

Others will fight for you

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

You've Got Mail

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

'Fetching your slippers when you were chairman of the board was one thing, but now that you're an ordinary citizen...'

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

"As a reward for 25 years of faithful service, here's your new cubical...it's 8% bigger!"

A hunter has a dream that his dog has brought a game warden to punish him.

The whole club stands behind the coach...

'And how many frequent flyer miles do you have?'

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

"Yeah you've always been loyal, so what? You're fired."

"I know he is now our richest client but he is very loyal!"

"Wow, you've got tons of loyalty points. Someone's a good boy!"

Dog following it's master out of a windows.

"The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog." - Ambrose Bierce

'That's 12 games in a row. As my best friend, it wouldn't kill you to let me win one every once in awhile.'

'OK, Mr. Altruism, real fast, name three selling points of loyalty that don't involve food.'

Punch Card: 'The next divorce is on me.'