Loyalty Tester Pillows

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

Who're you voting for for president, Mort? I'm keeping a totally open mind. Really? Have you ever voted for someone who wasn't from your own party? Of course I have. In 2000, when I lived in Florida. I voted for Pat Buchanan. Accidentally voting for the wrong guy doesn't make you open-minded. Does too.

'Stop pouting! Wouldn't you rather have me turn you in for the reward, than some stranger?'

A hunter has a dream that his dog has brought a game warden to punish him.

Others will fight for you

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

You've Got Mail

'You cal it loyalty, we call it Stockholm Syndrome!'

'Fetching your slippers when you were chairman of the board was one thing, but now that you're an ordinary citizen...'

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

"The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog." - Ambrose Bierce

The whole club stands behind the coach...

'I see things starting to break your way. Your computer will break down. Your car will break down...'

Dog following it's master out of a windows.

'That's 12 games in a row. As my best friend, it wouldn't kill you to let me win one every once in awhile.'

Punch Card: 'The next divorce is on me.'

'My wife's left me for a man with more Nectar points...'

'How do you think my appeal for loyalty went?'

'It's not exactly 'cheap' healthcare, but for each test we run, you accumulate frequent-test reward points.'

'I'm a frequent flier, so it's really quite cheap.'

"Are you a platinum card member?"

"I'm beginning to wonder if McDonald and his dog were quite as close as we were led to believe."

"This is Mr. Simmons, who we enticed away from our chief competitor. Of course, being a proven traitor, he can never be trusted."

The key to a successful customer loyalty program is to make people feel special. Watch and learn. How would you like to join our exclusive VIP Premier Exclusive Best Customer Reward Program? The other key is knowing whom to ask. There's minestrone in your eye.

My latest invention is genius. It's an affinity card for our best customers. That's not a new idea. Airlines, rental car agencies, hotels … They all have loyalty programs where you can earn discounts and special treatment. Spare me. Ours has a way better name: The Cafe Exclusive VIP Premier Executive Best Customer Reward Program. And we don't trouble customers with confusing discounts and benefits. All hail the VIP premier cheapskate.

"The person who gets this job must demonstrate a sincere willingness to go down with the ship."

"I can deal with the bi-racial and bi-lingual stuff, but one parent is a Mets fan and the other is a Yankee fan."

"Rex, I've always admired your loyalty to the firm."

'Is it wrong to accept a loyalty card from more than one supermarket, Father?'

"What's up with him?" "Travelling on points."

"So there I was at the back of the line waiting for my Covid short when I remembered 'Hey, I'm an American express cardmember!'"

'First she testifies against me, and now she marries the prosecutor!'

'...and an extra 200 points for naming the capital of Latvia.'