Loyalty Analyzer Gifts

'Don't send me back - please! They hate defectors. I'll be benched for life!!'

Others will fight for you

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

You've Got Mail

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

'Fetching your slippers when you were chairman of the board was one thing, but now that you're an ordinary citizen...'

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

"Wow, you've got tons of loyalty points. Someone's a good boy!"

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

A hunter has a dream that his dog has brought a game warden to punish him.

The whole club stands behind the coach...

"As a reward for 25 years of faithful service, here's your new cubical...it's 8% bigger!"

"I know he is now our richest client but he is very loyal!"

'And how many frequent flyer miles do you have?'

"Yeah you've always been loyal, so what? You're fired."

Dog following it's master out of a windows.

"The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog." - Ambrose Bierce

'That's 12 games in a row. As my best friend, it wouldn't kill you to let me win one every once in awhile.'

'OK, Mr. Altruism, real fast, name three selling points of loyalty that don't involve food.'

Documentary Proof - A Dog Lost hundreds of feet from home can easily find his way back.