Lovesick Humorist Gifts

"Of course my hands are warm, baby. All my blood has rushed to my seuxal organs."

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Phoenix

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

Tunnel of Like.

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Barman In Love.

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

Daffodil bulbs

"You're not sick, you're just in love." "I'd like a second opinion."

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

'For the last time, Butchie, I love you but I'm not in love with you.'

Prison Romance.

Dating in 2020

The stone is semi-precious, so I got you two.

Caterpillars in love

Homophone Encounter

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

Vincent give me your ear.

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'