Lovesick Lawyer Gifts

"Before I give you this anonymous Valentine's card coudl you just sign this waiver confirming that you won't fall uncontrollably in love with me...or take out a sexual harassment suit!"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

Relationship Warning Lights

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Why markets crash.

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

"Your stork analyst is here, sir."

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"You're not sick, you're just in love." "I'd like a second opinion."

'I don't know about you, but I really don't like the look of that yield curve.'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

Cupid misses his shot.

"Today's numbers. . . seashells up one, lobsters up three, claims down one, mussels up one . . ."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

Personal Relationship Counsellor

"You know, sometimes I don't think of us so much as dealers in stocks and bonds as dealers in dreams."

Wall Street has a one way arrow upwards.