Love Doctor Gifts

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

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'Cardiac unit.'

"You're both miserable wretches, but I suppose that's beside the point."

"It's a dating site that matches you solely on the thermostat setting."

'Unfortunately, my conclusion is that your incompatibility is due to your being incompatible.'

Cardiology

An emergency broken heart.

'I can't help noticing that the situation has gone down hill since our last meeting.'

Marriage Counselor.

'OK...now what?'

'It's a classic case.'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

Relationship Warning Lights

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm involved with a lady who's everything I could ever hope for. Yet I keep thinking about other women. You're a hunter, that's all this is. You're sabotaging your own happiness because if you're happy, that means hunting season will be over forever. Just remember, hunters who don't know when to quit get eaten.

Henry Adams was very good at his job (marriage counselor).

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"We've made great progress!"

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'