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'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

The Neuro — The First Official Worldwide Currency

'Cardiac unit.'

"You're both miserable wretches, but I suppose that's beside the point."

"It's a dating site that matches you solely on the thermostat setting."

'Unfortunately, my conclusion is that your incompatibility is due to your being incompatible.'

Cardiology

An emergency broken heart.

'I can't help noticing that the situation has gone down hill since our last meeting.'

Marriage Counselor.

'OK...now what?'

'It's a classic case.'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

Relationship Warning Lights

Henry Adams was very good at his job (marriage counselor).

Where your mind & battle are los

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"We've made great progress!"

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."