Loves Sharp Humor Pillows

Acupuncture.

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Family Butcher.

Scientist discover a new superbug

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

Home Business - Wife.

Red Card on the Podium

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

Ever the optimist, Bob takes up dowsing.

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"Graph A is verified by Graph B. Graph B is verified by Graph C. Graph C is verified by Graph A. So you see...it's all verified."

Taxes

"A funny thing happened on my way over here..."

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

'You look lovely today.'

"Now will you ask for directions?"

Cloning departments

"No offense..."

"Is there a reason you haven't done any work?"

Efficiency Expert Greeting

Society for Asking Stupid Questions

Hell's kitchen /Beans only.

Recipes from the Mrs. Marquis de Sade Cookbook

"Phil!"

'The hamster ball is simple, effective and very economic.'

'What's on the evening menu that's good?'

Scruffy man on desert island has written in the sand 'Help!! Need make grooming products.'

"This is the Halal dog food. The Kosher dog food is in the next aisle."

'Thanks but we really can't accept...'

Fire alarm - Penalty for improper use, $1,000.

'It's quite nice once your out.'