Lovers Of Witty Quotes Pillows

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

Karine Jean-Pierre

Spiv

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

G.K. Chesterton.

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

Home Business - Wife.

"It's a book about how to ask for a raise, '50 shades of Pay'."

"What keeps me going? The tightening feeling in my chest that if I stop, I'll die."

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

"Can I have a knife and fork, please."

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

Advertising makes you crave things you never knew existed.

Salmon swimming up-stream, "Don't you get tired of overcoming obstacles"

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."

'What do you mean 'What would Jane Austen do?''

"You're definitely going to need an extraction."

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

'Commons Bar' - "I would never vote to bring back flogging...why should criminals get for free what MP's have to pay for?"

'You look lovely today.'

"He's been talking to that cat again!"

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

'You're smarter than you look? -- well, I should HOPE so!'

Hunter about to fall into a trap set by deer.