Collecting Witty Quotes Pillows

A moocher borrows a cup of sugar to make a sponge cake.

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

Shakespeare Street

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

"Hahahaha doctor, I guess I'll see you in a week

The Quotable Ben Franklin. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. And not flying thy kite during thunderstorms might help, too!

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Frog Prince thinks: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horsefly.'

To paraphrase Humphrey Bogart in "Casablanca," "Of all the comic strips in all the newspapers in all the world, you walk into mine." ? ? ?

"He painted 300 pictures in his lifetime. 1000 of which are in England."

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

Headstone reading 'Only Sleeping'.

"They say the early bird gets the worm, but something's rotten in Denmark with this scenario!"

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

The Month of June

"I don't understand why the pen is mightier than the sword."

Live, laugh, love

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

'I'm typecast!'

'Life is too short to be little.'

"Trust me—sex sells."

You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?

I came, I saw, I had a little brunch, I conquered.

'You complete me!'

Jeanne Moreau: 'Age does not protect you from love, but love...protects you from age.'

Cedric instantly regretted 'pumping up the jam...'

'It's quiet... Too quiet.'

I was like, Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown! Them my physical therapist was like, Well, don't wear the crown to bed! And now my head feels much better.

Tombstone that says I Have No Life

"Mr. Peanut is my dad—you can call me Rick."