Lovers Of Witty Quotes T-Shirts

You have nothing to fear but fear itself, Al. I realize that, Dr. Kapuchnik. That's why I always have my fear with a side of fries.

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

To paraphrase Humphrey Bogart in "Casablanca," "Of all the comic strips in all the newspapers in all the world, you walk into mine." ? ? ?

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."

Karine Jean-Pierre

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

Spiv

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

G.K. Chesterton.

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

"Can I have a knife and fork, please."

"It's a book about how to ask for a raise, '50 shades of Pay'."

"What keeps me going? The tightening feeling in my chest that if I stop, I'll die."

Home Business - Wife.

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

Advertising makes you crave things you never knew existed.

Salmon swimming up-stream, "Don't you get tired of overcoming obstacles"

"It's the best work you've ever done. Still pretty awful."

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

'Commons Bar' - "I would never vote to bring back flogging...why should criminals get for free what MP's have to pay for?"

Penny for your lack of thoughts.

'What do you mean 'What would Jane Austen do?''

"He's been talking to that cat again!"

"You're definitely going to need an extraction."

'You look lovely today.'

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."

"Gee, I just love the British dry sense of humor!"

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

'If you are a complete pessimist does it mean you are positively negative!'