Lovers Of Musical Humor Gifts

"Nice ass..."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Raised by Dogs

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

'Hon, I'm home!'

Note Book

The return of the four sheepskins

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

"Young Billy play lak he on fire tonite!"

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

Musical Eye Test

Blues for now.

"Returns"

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

Jackson Pollock's short-lived career as a kid's party face painter.

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

"I love you the way the French love Jerry Lewis."

Spinning violinist

Welcome to Ontario...yoo-oo-ooo-ooo- are here!

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

Guarneri Feline Quartet.

Conducting the crows.

A better way to sweep the floor.... just shuffle!

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

Witch crashes into building on her broom and safety airbag deploys.

"He still hasn't figured out how to get out of his invisible cubicle."

Unconventional Music Player

"So obvious, there all the time"

'Well, in all my years as a relationships adviser, this is the first time I've had to admit defeat within the first five minutes!'

Giacomo Meyerbeer.

'I 'Marvo the magician', being of right mind...have taken it with me.'

'Flying is fine. Harping is fine. Flying while harping is not fine.'