Lovers Of Dark Humor Gifts

"Psssst! Jimmy, wake up man! I think you're having a nightmare!"

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk. Timmy.'

'I'm leaving, Ed. I cannot endure another minute of our sick, co-dependent farce of a marriage...'

"It's the editorial he was fulminating against when he keeled over and croaked."

"Is it me, or is it hot in here"

"Oh, here—take a penny and make it an even three hundred."

"It looks as though plan A has backfired!"

'I have no idea what's going on here, but I suggest we all do as he says and get into the mudroom closet.'

' . . . but have you had a nice time?'

'Before she died, she donated your organs.'

'We want you to take the hindmost.'

Executioner hit in stomach bythe head he has just cut off

Building sign reads: 'Joe's Bar and Tina's Grill.' Sub heading reads 'Ugly Divorce'

Evil Pusskins#6

The Magician's Suicide....

"But on the bright side, this place has a thriving economy and a 0% unemployment rate."

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down here."

Bed of Nails on Holiday

Fatal Attraction

'I'm in for just a tax offence really. I murdered a series of VAT men...'

Valentine for a prisoner

"OK, now I'm having a bad day."

When practical jokers pass away - 'Welcome...to HELL!'

"Jeremy called our relationship 'crunchy.'"

"The commute is killing me."

Just because the neighbors got fire doesn't mean we need to.

"Is this hell, or is this the line for hell?"

Person texts 'How are you?' to a skeleton,

"He looks so peaceful when he's asleep."

"Stop whining- I'm also an only child."

"There's been a mistake. The NSA cleared me!"

'I've never been good at delivering bad news, Fenster. Turn around.'

Independent Financial Advisor

"This is the new sales manager in charge of our 'To Die For' line of handbags."