Lover Of Dark Humor Gifts

Judges holding up numbers - judge at the end has a sign which says 'how much for a 10?'

'We've given you a brain scan and we can't find anything.'

Nothing Good Ahead

"I am now cutting all my rude remarks about the patient from her file."

The mortician's lunch-box.

"It happens."

"And lastly, for all eternity, French, blue cheese, or ranch?"

Hearse with a 'doctor on call' sign in the window

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

"It's God. Are you in?"

'Please be careful, sir, the plate is hot.'

Well, there you go. I guess it isn't "Feed a cold, starve a fever."

'We've got a problem - They're starting to enjoy it.'

'I don't understand why that guy is always so happy.'

'Star light, star bright, first star I see...'

You look like death.

The Devil and Profits

Blowing up your ex.

'Are you sure it's dead?'

'A Congressman, eh? -- I'll give you fifteen bucks for your soul, tops.'

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

Arrows Pointing The Blame.

'Hurry down here before your breakfast gets hot!'

Wordilly Durdillies - A Magic Depressive

"I thought this would be the year I'd come for you, but I guess not. So I got you a birthday card instead!"

"This, my son, is my favourite human tribe. Harmless to us: they're cannibals!"

"This is my favourite part!"

Violent news

"I haven't the nerve to tell him his stocks hit new highs."

"Did you finally come to an agreement with your wife? Or am I opening old wounds?"

"Will you and your friend be out long?"

"Oh, dear! I'm afraid it's not good news."

"I have to day you give great head."

'He said there's a 40-minute wait for non-smoking.'

"I just don't think it's healthy for you to read the obituaries each day to see if you're listed!"