Lover Of Dark Humor Gifts

Judges holding up numbers - judge at the end has a sign which says 'how much for a 10?'

Shot in the foot.

'We've given you a brain scan and we can't find anything.'

Nothing Good Ahead

"I am now cutting all my rude remarks about the patient from her file."

The mortician's lunch-box.

"It happens."

Hearse with a 'doctor on call' sign in the window

"And lastly, for all eternity, French, blue cheese, or ranch?"

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

"It's God. Are you in?"

'Please be careful, sir, the plate is hot.'

Well, there you go. I guess it isn't "Feed a cold, starve a fever."

'Let's set aside the role as the 'Bringer of Death' and explore your desire to dance,'

'We've got a problem - They're starting to enjoy it.'

'I don't understand why that guy is always so happy.'

'Star light, star bright, first star I see...'

"I have to day you give great head."

"At your current body fat percentage, I can't figure out how there's any room left for your organs."

Blowing up your ex.

"Oh, dear! I'm afraid it's not good news."

"Will you and your friend be out long?"

"Did you finally come to an agreement with your wife? Or am I opening old wounds?"

Violent news

"This is my favourite part!"

"This, my son, is my favourite human tribe. Harmless to us: they're cannibals!"

The Devil and Profits

'Are you sure it's dead?'

You look like death.

'A Congressman, eh? -- I'll give you fifteen bucks for your soul, tops.'

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

Arrows Pointing The Blame.

'Hurry down here before your breakfast gets hot!'

Wordilly Durdillies - A Magic Depressive

"I thought this would be the year I'd come for you, but I guess not. So I got you a birthday card instead!"