Lover Of Dark Comedy Gifts

'For God's sake, Elias - it's 1645! If you don't let me out by 1700, the dinner will be ruined!'

Laughing area.

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'... And this is my cellar.'

Dead Funny

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"I thought you wanted me to change."

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

Pastries and Candy

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"Housekeeping?!"

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

The Reaper's Arms

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."