Lover Of Witty Conversations Pillows

'Withholding sex from men isn't nearly as empowering as critiquing their performance in bed.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

To paraphrase Humphrey Bogart in "Casablanca," "Of all the comic strips in all the newspapers in all the world, you walk into mine." ? ? ?

'Mom can I have another apple?'

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

The Gilmore Girls

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"It's a book about how to ask for a raise, '50 shades of Pay'."

Home Business - Wife.

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

"Any chance of some credit?"

Salmon swimming up-stream, "Don't you get tired of overcoming obstacles"

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''

Cylinder Head

'Not tonight, I have a headache,'

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."

'You look lovely today.'

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

I'm told Cuthbert's been building himself quite a legal team over the holiday'

"No offense..."

'And now the other leg!'

I'll tell you what, your honor: I'll agree to stop badgering the witness if she'll agree to stop undressing me with her eyes. ?