Lover Of The Obscure Gifts

'Of course this scribble doesn't make any sense. Why do you think the critics call it an intellectual masterpiece?'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Extreme Sisyphus

"Now you can send it."

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

"What a way to go."

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Operation.

UFO and snowman

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

Baseball.

Route 666.

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

"Wow! - That's bland, derivative and sooo dull..! It's gonna make us millions!"

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

PODs Venn Diagram

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

Flower tribute

"Jerry, you can't keep coming back from the dead every time I have coffee with someone."

Trapeze artists commuting

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

Poetry reading nightly

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

'Whatever it is you're doing down there, Malcolm, I think it's affecting the television.'

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."