Lover Of The Uncanny Gifts

"Monster under your bed? You're old enough to know there are no such things as monsters."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Extreme Sisyphus

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"Now you can send it."

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

Magic Tricks

Traffic Cone Monsters

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

A convenient attack of swine flu...

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"What a way to go."

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

Operation.

Baseball.

UFO and snowman

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

Route 666.

'Oh come on, I'm sure she'll still be there after Match of the Day's finished...'

"Wow! - That's bland, derivative and sooo dull..! It's gonna make us millions!"

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

Zombie Zin: The Red of the Dead

"Jerry, you can't keep coming back from the dead every time I have coffee with someone."

Poetry reading nightly

Trapeze artists commuting

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"